I'm not a Saint...Yet

I am not a Saint yet.

To be a Saint, means to be holy and righteous. It means that “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20). It means losing myself in Him, and seeking His glory rather than my own.

I am not a Saint yet. I admit that I have faults: a quick temper and a sharp tongue. I admit that I speak more than I listen, complain about my daily crosses, and look for praise from others over God. I admit that I seek material pleasures and often choose competition over kindness. I admit that I lack the faith of Padre Pio, the hope of Maximilian Kolbe, and the love of Mother Teresa.

I am not a Saint yet. I am waiting for God to do His work in me. I am waiting for Him to fuse the pieces of my soul back together, closing Himself inside. I am waiting for Him to mend my broken heart. I am waiting for Him to draw me to Himself, to reveal to me all that I am by showing me all that He is.

I am not a Saint yet. I am learning to “set [my] mind on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2). I am learning about who God is and what He wants for me. I am learning to be vulnerable and to experience the depths of love. I am learning to be easier on myself. I am learning to be present, to find God in all things, and to find joy in the smallest moment. I am learning that others are flawed like me. I am learning how to forgive.

I am not a Saint yet. I have witnessed the power of Christ in my three years as a practicing Catholic. I have witnessed Him wipe out sin and shame. I have witnessed Him beginning the process of healing years of pain. I have witnessed Him work through me to speak to others’ hearts. I have witnessed the peace that comes to the person who is devoted to Christ. I have witnessed an increase in love.

I am not a Saint yet. I have experienced the smallest bit of pain that Christ must have born on that Cross. I have experienced forgiveness, hope, and love. I have experienced the best things in life: laughter with friends as we gather together as Catholic men and women, the closeness of God that comes right after receiving the Eucharist, and the excitement that comes when I contemplate God’s plan for my life. I have experienced the good that comes from God in every moment of every day.

We are not Saints yet. We follow Christ, we seek Him daily. But we fall and skin our knees.  We lose our way, lash out in anger, put up walls, and hurt others with hateful words. We have regrets, and scars, and vices. But, we also have the capacity to love. We have the ability to serve. We have the potential to be transformed if we would only seek Christ. All He asks is for our hearts. This is a good thing because it is all we have to give.

We are not Saints yet. But, we shouldn’t lose hope. It was never our responsibility alone. It was always meant to be a journey that we walked with God. It is simply our duty, as sons and daughters of God, to admit, to wait, to learn, and to witness to God, always and in all things. I am not a Saint yet, but by the Grace of God, I trust that I will be someday.